Mel Robbins is an American speaker, coach, TV personality, and author.
Her TedX talk on Youtube about how to stop screwing yourself over has more than 10 million views.
Stop Saying Your Fine, one of her books, is a business best seller.
The Top 10 Mel Robbins Rules for Success
1. Change Your Decisions.
How often do you come up with creative ideas, but then you hesitate before acting on your ideas? If this has happened to you, then you know what we’re talking about. When we make decisions, our brain can sometimes work against us by naturally preventing us from experiencing danger. Our brains do this by magnifying the perception of risk, even though the risk may not be so great.
With this being said, don’t wait until you feel like doing something. You are never going to “feel like” working on something that is difficult. As soon as that creative thought fills your mind, right it down, and immediately take some form of action to further the advancement of that idea.
During an emotionally charged interaction, changing your decisions can make a HUGE difference. Between your reactive emotions and actions, there is a small window of decision you can take advantage of to change your course of action. Changing your decisions in these moments can positively effect your marriage, relationships, and your business.
2. Listen to your gut.
“The fact is any excuse you come up with you can undo. Tuition can be reimbursed, apartments can be leased, plan B can be invented. So I got up, I repacked that U-Haul, and I drove out of town. I let myself make a U-turn in life. If you ever find your gut battling your head, save yourself the drama. I guarantee you your gut is right. Guarantee you your excuses can be undone, and I guarantee you, you can make a U-turn in your life, right now, if you want to.” Mel Robbins
As Mel Robbins said, if your gut and your head are not in alignment, go with your gut. Trust your intuition, and believe that it’s guiding you in the right direction.
3. Push yourself to the next level.
You don’t want to fall into the trap of complacency and stagnation. To avoid this undesirable state, a good question to have at the forefront of your mind is, “What can I do to grow, develop, and push myself to the next level?”
By simply asking yourself this question, your mind will provide you with the answers, skills, and strategies that you need to push yourself to the next level.
In a business meeting, this could mean actively taking notes and paying attention until you find an opportunity to speak. For an athlete, this could be consistently working on your weaknesses, and building on your strengths. In a relationship, you could work together with the other person to find out what you both could do to strengthen your bond, and nurture the relationship.
Asking yourself, “What can I do to grow, develop, and push myself to the next level?”, will provide you with what you need to push yourself to the next level, in any area of your life.
4. Take action.
“There were moments all day long, all day long, just like that five second moment in bed, where I knew knowledge what I should do. And if I didn’t move within five seconds, my brain would step in and talk me out of it. Every human being has a five second window, it might even be shorter for you. You have about a five second window in which you can move from idea to action before your brain kicks into full gear and sabotages any change in behavior. Because remember, your brain is wired to stop you from doing things that are uncomfortable, or uncertain, or scary. It’s your job to learn how to move from those ideas that could change everything, into acting on them.” Mel Robbins
5. Follow your curiosity.
What are you naturally curious about? What could you spend countless hours doing? That is where you want to start. If you find that one thing that makes your mind and heart sing in unison, then you’ll know you’re where you truly want to be. Once you’ve found your curiosity or passion, line yourself up with as many opportunities for learning and growth that you can find. Great ways to start are through books, online courses, and hands on experience.
6. Think positively.
Many people are living in a state of negativity that they think is normal, but what this really means is they are conditioned, or used to living life with a negative outlook.
Breaking through these negative thought patterns is very similar to breaking other habitual patterns like biting your nails. People think that these habits are unbreakable, and difficult to change because they have been acting or thinking in that specific pattern for so long.
You can decide to change RIGHT NOW. Like thinking positively, change is a decision. Rather than waiting for your circumstances to change you, take back the control in your life and break the negative patterns that are limiting your experience of life. You can do this by visualizing with crystal clarity, a moment where you were extremely happy. Remember as many details as you can. Whenever you fall into the trap of negativity, anxiety, or worry, use Mel Robbins’s technique of counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, backwards, and use that positive memory as your anchor to reset your thought patterns. Rinse and repeat throughout the day as many times as you need to.
7. Don’t give up on your dreams.
“I find that so many of us think that our dreams are unreachable, or unrealistic, and it’s just so sad. I mean, people think that their dreams disappear, and if that’s what you think, congratulations, you’re officially stuck. And the truth is that our dreams are always there, and they don’t ever give up on us, we give up on them. But here’s the secret, if you just force yourself, and I mean force because I know damn well none of you want to do anything about this, and I also know your sitting there like, yeah, this self help crap, this isn’t for me. But if you just force yourself to take a couple small steps, there’s always a surprise.” Mel Robbins
8. Know what you want.
In any situation in life, if you know what you want whether it be a job, relationship, or other specific outcomes, your road to getting there becomes a lot easier. If you ask yourself, “What do i want?”, and, “What do I want the outcome to be?”, then you will discover what you deeply desire.
9. Push forward.
“You tend to think that what you want, you just march right towards it. But if in sports, you march right towards the goal, what happens? The defenders come in, and what the defenders are is it’s your brain saying, ain’t going to happen. So the second you start moving toward that thing you want, be ready, you’re going to tell yourself you don’t feel like it. You’re going to have to force yourself, it’s happening, there’s no way to get around it. So what you’re going to have to do is you’re going to basically get bounced around a lot, all over the place. And there are going to be a lot of times that you feel like this was a really dumb idea to start this business, because it’s going to get hard. And I want to remind you about something. Unlike the sports field where there’s an in and out of bounds, the great thing about life is there actually aren’t any. And it’s usually in those moments when you feel like you can’t do it, that you’re closer than ever to having everything that you wanted. And I wanted to show you this so that you keep it in mind, because I think a lot of times when you look back, it’s the darkest moments where you realize holy cow, that’s what projected me forward.” Mel Robbins
10. Be honest with yourself.
Don’t lie to yourself and tell yourself, “I’m fine,” when you are really unsatisfied with your current conditions. When you convince yourself that you are always fine, then there is no need to change, no room for action, an no desire for growth. The odds of you being born are one in 400 trillion, so take advantage of the amazing opportunity you’ve been given to live life to the fullest.
Which one of Mel Robbin’s rules for success from Evan Carmichael impacted you the most? Share your thoughts and comments in the comment section below!